I returned home a few days ago. Cathy was laid to rest in our columbarium niche at Subiaco
Abbey in Arkansas, on August 1 st , after seven memorial services. All of the services were
beautiful and meaningful. Following the path of her Journey Home in April 2023, again I
celebrated her life with dear family and friends. Her final memorial service will be held in
Serabu, Sierra Leone October 9-11. I will be there for this much planned and anticipated
celebration. I look forward to reporting back to you about her Serabu send-off.
The following key dates document the beginning and end of our life together on earth:
April 10, 1976 Our first meeting, church retreat
May 6, 1977 Our first date, fishing
June 16, 1979 Our marriage at 4 pm
Cathy’s final 15 days on Earth:
May 20, 2025 Cathy is bedridden for the rest of her life
May 22 I give Cathy permission to die. Our last big cry together.
May 28 Her last food and water. By 11 pm she semi-unconscious.
May 29 Cathy silently pulls me and gives me three kisses that evening.
May 30 Terminal Agitation begins. Cathy is out of it and begging for help.
Nystagmus (rapid back and forth eye movements) begins.
May 31 Terminal Agitation ends and Cathy enters into a deeper coma
June 1 Cathy begins chest-rattle breathing. She is too weak to cough.
June 2-3 Bedside monitoring, hugs, prayers and personal care continues.
June 4 2 AM significant mouth cleaning of excessive dried saliva. Regular
water-misting of her mouth follows. She communicates her relief
and appreciation by breathing much easier.
7:48 PM After several minutes of shadow breathes, she opens her
eyes for a final “I love you” exchange-look and dies in my arms.
It’s her most joyful moment and my most painful moment.
9:43 PM Cathy’s body is transported to the funeral home.
June 5 10 AM I go to the funeral home, cut off Cathy’s hair, and give her
a final kiss goodbye. Some of her hair will be taken to Serabu.
June 6 I receive and care for Cathy’s cremations until she is buried.
Finally, I leave you with one of Cathy’s cognitive exercises, a coloring of a simple drawing, from
December 23, 2024. While I was cleaning up after her death, I retrieved it from a stack
of her exercise papers. Notice the names she wrote on the two seahorses and the passionate
kissing that is occurring. I showed a friend this coloring and he gave me a “Kissing Seahorses”
shirt, which I wore for her funeral mass and burial. I hoped to be buried in that shirt.
Tom your devotion for each other and giving natures show in your work that lives on. . Your words are. absolutely 😍
Tom
You have been in our thoughts and prayers. Wondering how you are doing and prayers for your sorrow.
We love you and know you have a place to visit & stay!
Tom,we are going to miss hearing from you. Your updates were and are so beautifully written.We hope you continue updating how you are doing and especially when you go to Serabu in October. take care of yourself.Many Blessings.
Thank you Tom, thank you, thank you. Praying.
love and hugs,
Dave and Erin